Woolsey Life

Can be pretty intimidating when what you are hitting are things you are comfortable with.  By nature I am a “get it all done myself kind of guy” because “at the end of the day no one will care enough to do it the way I think it should get done.”  I have preached about handing off keys in ministry and have done so to an extent.  God is making me do it for real now.  Its good though, I can see how this is going to be a good thing for me and for the ministries of Impact Church.  I am starting to see through the pressures in my own life how I have held onto keys for too long.  I must admit, I am still slow to ask too much of people because I want to be sensitive to their lives and the work load they bear without me coming along.  However, since my time is becoming more and more of a rare commodity I am going to start laying things before people and seeing what the leaders around me will take up.  My job needs to be less about the work and more about the leaders that are carrying the burden for the work.  I need to be an encourager and I need to be inspiring them to find meaning in what they are asking their teams to do.  I need to be their pastor…God has been pushing me into this role faster than I had thought would happen 4 years ago and behold, here it is already.

So I confess here publicly that the systems that I have put into place are holding this ministry back.  As I walk around breaking them I am praying that God will be moving in the lives of those that will be thrust into leadership.  It happened for me as result of a need, its time to allow the Holy Spirit to move through me and into the lives of the emerging leaders around me so they can experience the same empowerment.

Pray for me…its not going to be easy.

Tonight we had a heavy staff meeting (the force of gravity has increased here in the future) and we called it around 8pm and decided to hang out on the patio. As you are well aware, the yard is on the home stretch and looks complete at a glance. Jeff, Vince, Micah and Brent were standing on the walkway in the yard and looking at the grass and had observed the handfull of weeds that have developed in one are of the lawn. Vince commented that if he were I he would be pretty mad. I told them that the reasons the weeds got a foothold was because the grass there wasn’t very thick and full yet. Vince asked if I was going to get on my hands and knees and pull out every weed by hand. I explained to him that I would have to do that for now but my goal is to not go on hand weeding. I explained that the best way to prevent weeds is to do the things that strengthen the grass because the grass will choke out the weeds when it it thickens and grows deep roots. We all looked at each other and remarked that there is a Sunday message in that comment.

Once again, God demonstrates how he has every intention of speaking to me about ministry and my own spiritual life through my growing passion as a gardener.

Sometimes I get online and follow bunny trails and tonight was no different. Tonight I was looking at hybrid electric vehicles and I decided to take a trip down memory lane and check in on the hybrid electric vehicle program at San Diego State College of Engineering. I figured the same professor would still be involved and instead of finding that the project was up and running I found a hand full of stories about how politics and self centered personalities wound up destroying an honorable effort.

I got the lion’s share of the details of this story from THIS ARTICLE but I had heard some of these things in the year or so after I graduated from younger students that I stayed in touch with. If you don’t know any of these people this story won’t mean much to you, but I felt compelled to share it here. This story is a reminder to me of how our pride, arrogance and unwillingness to always move toward peace can destroy something that is bigger than us. The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor. I know the people in this story, and many of them insisted on honor and never considered humility. They see things completely upside down from how God has made us to be. The result was a black eye on the face of a good institution and damage to some who I consider to be honorable.

It makes me sad.

I love watching movies when I can get into them. I am kind of fidgety but when I can settle in to watch a movie I love to because I can always find God speaking to me in them. Take for example the clip below from Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. If you aren’t into it just fast forward to about 2:30 minutes and look for the discussion between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn as they are left alone in the conference room.

If you are completely unfamiliar with the Star Wars universe, these are Jedi Knights and they are characters that seek after self discipline and they are the assigned keepers of peace and justice in the galaxy. Something struck me when watching their interaction here. Obi-Wan is troubled by something far away from where they are and expresses it to his elder, Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon tells him to be aware of the here and now. He reminds him to ‘…be mindful of the living force…’. When I watch this scene I can imagine a similar discussion between two believers of God who are trying to discern God’s intentions in an urgent moment. It might sound a little more like, ‘be mindful of the Holy Spirit…’ Wow, that is really cool. But is it just my sci fi loving imagination at work?

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I haven’t written much in terms of content lately. I have been wading through a spiritual and emotional bog for a couple of months now and unfortunately it has left me running on reserves only. I haven’t been thinking much, just doing. Impact Church is coming under some pressure, probably our first significant pressure since we launched nearly 2 years ago. Because of this there are lots of people praying, I am one of them. Finally, over the last week after speaking with some old friends I have started feverishly seeking God for some perspective. During this week I have had the privilege of attending a church planter’s conference and also spending some quality time with some friends last night. Through all of it I have been hearing one clear message from God, ‘I have called you and its not up to you to decide if it makes sense’. Its a good message, especially for me to hear during times like this when ministry is gaining enthalpy and guys like me can easily be deceived into thinking that I have no place in ministry at all.

So, as we approach this time of pressure and squeezing I consider that the path of least resistance is not necessarily the path to take. Sometimes, and maybe often God will allow us to go through those harder doors. ‘ …but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.‘ (Romans 5:3-4). Its totally backward to our own wisdom. On the heals of that I am reminded that we should not be wise in our own minds (Proverbs 3:7). I find these ideas to be upside down when compared to our conventional common sense, or more accurately our conventional common sense is upside down compared to these ideas…but I digress. Consider this piece of common sense, ‘Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.’ (Yoda to Anakin Skywalker - Star Wars Episode I) Suffering here is the final, horrible end to a long path of misery and darkness. In God’s kingdom suffering is the refiner and the beginning to character, hope and wisdom.

So I have chosen to surrender and submit to God.  And if I am to believe that God is good, which I do, then I HAVE to believe that this pressure and heat is for the betterment of God’s kingdom and for my good.